Because There Are Too Many Words.

First time around and you were so wonderful.
As the passion died and the fighting fire dimmed.
And I realized the mistake. Cause that's what that was.
I should have listened. And now I truly apologize for not listening to them.
Because they love me in the selfless way. Wanting nothing but the best for me.
And I was blinded by the thrill of the ride. And the rush of the fall; not anticipating the moment when I hit.
And it's a terrible love. And now I'm walking with spiders.
I keep telling myself that it was real. At least for a little bit. But I'm just kidding myself aren't I?
And I'm so confused. Because of the perfection. The "right"ness about us.
All to learn that it was nothing but another test of my now broken self esteem.
To remind me that I'm not enough. To remind me that I threw away that chocolate for nothing.
Because She can help you move on. And so can She.  But not me.
Sacrifice is giving something up for something better. Those were not sacrifices.
That was me thinking of you. And you thinking of you.
And your fingertips across my skin.
The sweetest sadness in your eyes. Clever trick.
"I never want to see you unhappy."
Thank you for finally doing something for me.
We walked along a crowded street. You took my hand and we started dancing through the fire.
I thought you wanted the same for me.
You left, you kissed my lips.
Should have known this would bring me heart ache. Almost lovers always do.
And I think about that night. The one with you begging for my honesty. Telling me to let you in too.
Now I wish I could go back so I could tell myself to never let myself out.
Put me on hold?
Anything is possible.
But hopes were destroyed long before now.