Dear God,

I have forgotten who I am.
Somewhere in the midst of wanting to enjoy the moment and degrade myself to be up to par of some man's pleasure I lost myself.
Im standing here in the shower, feeling the water hit by back turning it as hot as it can go. Then cold. Still nothing.
I want to talk to you about how he has broken my heart and doesn't even know it.
I want to talk to you about my fear of alcohol.
I want to talk to you about my pains.
But I've lost myself.
I've been trying to fit into this world, with its temptations, pleasures, releases.
And i don't fit in.
I don't fit into this world, God.
I'm not those silicone women.
I'm not those friends partying on the weekend wasted.
I'm not a sexual toy.
I am your daughter.
I don't fit into this world because I'm not meant to. I will never sink so low again.
I promise you.
But please, God, help remind me of my divine nature. Of my godly womanhood.
Please send me more love so I don't forget.
Please forgive me.