I Am One Day Closer

I've decided to surround myself with people who see my value and remind me of it.

Empty Emotion

I feel empty

Yet so full 

of emotion.

Like the smallest thing

Could push me 

over the edge.

And what do you do

When there's nothing 

But pain 

Left inside you.

And what if 

Everything we were looking for

Only existed 

In our dreams? 

How do you explain

Something 

You don't even understand 

Yourself? 

Uses For A Brick

All the fog from intimacy has cleared away.

He picked her heart piece by piece masking her curiosity with sweet whisperings, painting a future for him and for her.

Now she has found countless uses for a brick. 

Because she is convinced that Shawn Mendes wrote that song for her. 

Because no one has ever left her this sore.

She had reached into her body searching for a heart that was blocked. 

She fought each stubborn rib as they formed a cage warning that she might not survive this one, but she dodged them and gripped her heart by the core.

She traded hers for his and they both kept blood running to the others to keep them alive.

Beautiful were their lives. Full of fears, but also wonderful wonders.

Everything is perfect when someone keeps you alive for you and you pay them back by keeping them alive.

Everything is perfect when you are vulnerable as long as they keep you protected. 

And you provide their protection in return.

But.

He let his blood supply to hers run dry.

He watched as she slowly bled out.

Very slowly, drip by drip.

He watched her bleed until she couldn't breathe and right before she was done for he would provide some more. Just a small amount, but it was enough to keep her going. 

Kept her down, in need of him for survival because, "I can't live without you."

She now has stopped her blood supply to his and is trying to take hers back. 

But she hesitates because maybe, just maybe, he'll start pumping blood to her again.

But all that hesitation does is provide a hope for a hopeless wonder. 

Why. 

Why did you cut off your blood supply to me?

Why. 

Letting me bleed out is understandable, but why did you stick around to watch?

I have now found countless uses for a brick.

And she finally gave up, dropped 

the fake smile as a tear ran down

her cheek and she whispered to 

herself, "I can't do this anymore."

So Far Away

An experienced man once told me that it gets easier to move on when I remember all the reasons you made me cry.
But I don't want to move on.
I don't want to decide that there's something better for me to fight for.
I don't want to slowly imagine laying in another's arms.

I'd rather wake up with amnesia.
Forget about the stupid things like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you.

The dreams we built together were added onto my walls that were holding me together.
And now I feel as if my soul is slipping out through my toes.

Your words were always close to me but your heart was always so far away.

Nobody said it was easy.
What a shame it is for us to part.
Nobody said it was easy.
Nobody said it would be this hard.

I'm goin'.
I'm goin' back to the start.

All I Do

Running in a smooth and steady rhythm, my heart ceases any kind of breath of life. Steady beat. Sure feelings.

My mind though, is a mess of gorgeous chaos; intertwined with thoughts, ideas, images, doubts.

Sing sweetly to me, darling. Allow your breathing to slip me into dreams and fantasies of what was.

All I did was fail today.